Good things come to those who pray.......

The last day I've been in awe.  I just can't explain it.  I feel such joy in my heart, like the day I found out I was pregnant with Nolan and the day he arrived.  I am flying high! Amazing.  Abigail called me at work today and said "Hi Mom, I'm having ice cream.  It's Cho-co-late."  So darn cute.  I miss her so much.  So I wanted to post about the emotional roller coaster of the last 2 days so that everyone may have a glimpse into the amazing works of my very BIG GOD.

I have ALWAYS wanted to adopt.  I never dreamed I'd have kids of my own, I just always wanted to adopt.  When I got pregnant and had Nolan it was very difficult.  I had battled miscarriages prior to him that were extremely painful to move past.  I was on bed rest and seemed to develop every complication of pregnancy possible.  I was hesitant in my walk of faith.  I rarely prayed and it was usually only because I needed something.  I did pray at many points in that pregnancy for the Lord to allow this baby to survive.  During my emergency c-section as the monitors were alarming because his heart rate was dropping I distinctly remember the prayers.    They went something like this;  "I will do ANYTHING if you let my baby live."  If you JUST let this baby live I will give a child that doesn't have parents a home."  Then there was some whining, pleading and begging.  First of all, that was in really bad taste.  Seriously?  I was trying to bargain with God?  Are you kidding me?  How tacky that was......God knew I already wanted to adopt so there wasn't much there to negotiate.  I just thought maybe he'd be like "OH HEY!  Heather is going to take an orphan if we help her, let's go!!!!"  They were rushing my bed down the hallway as I'm yelling this out loud.  I remember the fluorescent lights on the ceiling swooping past me.  The nurses looked at me like I was a nut job and I remember one of them tapping my shoulder saying, "everything will be OK." And my response?  "I'll believe it when I see it."   

So since that day of my beautiful Nolan arriving 6 years ago I felt like there was always this little nudge in my heart like COME ON HEATHER when are you going to get to adopting already.  Over the years I have thought about that prayer a lot.  I've even expressed to my husband that I know I need to honor that promise.  A promise is a promise right?  As I became stronger in my walk of faith I knew God had laid this adoption desire on my heart since I was a kid and now he was doing it with such intensity and enormous heaviness.  Since we found out about Abigail I hadn't thought about it in a very long time.   I think I just forgot about it because I was so focused on the adoption the "whys" no longer seemed important.

So the night before our ruling praying became SO difficult.  I wanted to plead with God to allow me just this one prayer, but I had to remain faithful and my prayers started with "Lord, if this is in YOUR will, please give us a positive ruling so that my Abigail may come home."  That was so hard.  For two days I was on the floor on my knees begging if this was in His will.  I felt like WHAT ABOUT MY WILL?  What about me?  I sat over there for 2 months without my husband and my son and now I'm sitting here without my husband and my daughter.  It's hard to release that control.  I'm a control freak so that is REALLY hard for me. I know fully that if this is not in his plan, it would not happen.  But selfishly, it was in my plan and I wanted it to be all about me. :)

I couldn't sleep and at one point I was sobbing on now the bathroom floor, begging and pleading to God to seek favor on our Abigail.  My heart has been so broken since leaving her in Uganda and my arms have ached for both of my children in them at the same time.  But an amazing thing was laid on my heart.  I felt an overall peace come over me.  The sobbing slowed down, I felt like my muscles weren't as tense and as that peace came, I couldn't stop thinking about being in labor with Nolan.  I couldn't stop thinking about what I had prayed.  At one point I think I even laughed out loud.  I was so embarrassed that I thought that would work.  I was reliving it over and over and over.  I drove myself a little crazy trying to remember every detail.  I kept thinking, "Why can't I stop thinking about this?"  What is wrong with me?  I tried to push it away but when I laid back down it kept rerunning like song on repeat.

The next day I woke up knowing the Holy Spirit had worked through the judge and we would have full adoption.  I just knew it.  I tried to push it out of my head but it was already on my heart.  I can't explain it but I knew God had laid that memory on my heart because I had made that promise and I consciously have chosen to honor that promise no matter what.  I have never let any barrier stop this adoption because I know this has always been in His will.  Have I been discouraged?  ABSOLUTELY.  But I did my best to try and pray when those times came up.  I fully found myself spiritually in Africa because I HAD to rely on Him.  He created a situation where I had nothing else to do but to pray.  I went to work knowing that Jason somehow and someway was going to call and we were going to get full adoption.  I knew it.  I felt like jumping for joy and screaming, he is seeking favor on us today because he knows I have been faithful to him!

Sure enough a little after 8 I got the call.  I exited my cube, I borrowed a conference room just for myself and I danced in it.  I threw my fists in the air like I had won the Boston marathon because I have a BIG GOD and he is faithful to me.  I did the MC Hammer dance and possibly the funky chicken. :) I'll never tell.......... :)

I sent out an email that people forwarded and reached HUNDREDS of people and we had people praying all over the world for us.  THAT is an awesome thing.  I had people emailing us saying they set their alarms and got up and prayed at 2 am during the initial court hearing.  People I don't even know but people serving the same big God as I do. That is just incredible.  Would I have really done that for someone else I didn't know?  I have over 50 voice mails between 3 phones to get to and over a hundred emails to return.  I have amazing friends and an amazing prayer family.

Out of all of this there is one thing that touched my heart the most.  When my friend Sherry sent out the email to make the announcement at our church, the subject line said, "Our prayers were answered."  Not Heather and Jason's prayers, but Ours.  When I saw "Our" I was speechless.   If one person is suffering and we prayed for that suffering like it were our own, and take that suffering on as a whole body and not just our own, imagine how the Holy Spirit could work.  I love our church family and there is never a question of feeling like I belong there.  Our greatest day home will be the first Sunday she can meet her new family in church.

I can hardly wait to show Abby these emails some day.  She doesn't know just how loved she is.  God can move mountains and he certainly did that Thursday.  He is a big God and as Toby Mac says; I am a prisoner to him by choice and I LOVE IT.  My life is so incredible and God has been so good to me, especially good to me since we have strived to be the utmost obedient.  I AM REDEEMED.

Abigail Moosuki Mugisa Osborn.  A child of God.  A child of the Bridge.  The best part? .......she's ours.



AMEN!